Awesome Shit

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Awesome Shit

Post by gdf on Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:06 pm

Sean wrote:Found a fiver in an old jacket pocket? Start a thread. Been for a shit? Make a fuckin' thread already.
Both of these happened at T in the Park, but better. For starters, I found a fiver lying on the ground when my mates were being pricks who wanted to see Killers (so were in the Golden Circle like two hours before they played) and used it to buy some donuts and a cup of tea, then sat down and watched - inexplicably - The Ting Tings, who were surprisingly polished and enjoyable.

Secondly, I did three shits in two sittings over a period of twenty four hours from Saturday morning to Sunday morning. I had thought beforehand that a shit on Tuesday would allow me to last the whole weekend without going, and I generally manage about a week between shits. It came on really badly while I was there, though, because the previous shit at home had been a tad insubstantial. On Saturday morning I was hunched over in constipated agony, so I ran up to the bog and after ten minutes in a tiny, stinking, filthy, pissy-floored portaloo, sweating outrageously and nearly puking from lack of decent air I fired out the mother of all cacks. It was a fucking monster, big even by my standards and longer than those Matheson's smoked sausages by some stretch, curling at least a third of the way round the top of the bowl as it sat on a load of sodden bogroll and lesser shits. Sunday morning's pair were less impressive, but not by much.

All in all, some pretty great stuff. Anybody else done some small-but-great-in-their-own-special-way things of late?
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by Seany C on Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:46 pm

Jesus fucking christ, gdf. Still doesn't beat the story where you showed your mum and sister. I remember losing that round of Marble Blast form laughing so hard (not that I'd of won against you and Jammer, you damn marble freaks).
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by mcgugan on Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:56 pm

my most memorable shit occurred in the comfort of my own home.
it was like giving birth, where the pain and tearing are made worthwhile by the sheer joy of what you've produced. It pains me to this day that i didn't look at it, but the sight would still not have been as memorable as what happened when i flushed. With one sheet of paper used, the moment i flushed i heard a joyous creaking through the cisterns of the toilet, then the leviathan travelled audibly through my house's plumbing for a good 3 minutes, thumping as it hit each corner of the pipe until with what can only be described as a crash it left the immediate vicinity into open plumbing. It was a wonderful day.
my sister swears she felt it beneath her feet.
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by mcgugan on Tue Jul 14, 2009 11:58 pm

also, my friend once took a shit so angled and lumpy he named it Onyx and left it in the toilet for a week.
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by Seany C on Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:21 am

Good to have you back McGugan
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by gdf on Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:23 am

We should remove the Blog Staff badges.
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by Seany C on Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:24 am

I'm removing them as I see them.
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by weeble on Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:53 am

I has pictures!!!!!!!
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by weeble on Wed Jul 15, 2009 7:54 am



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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by Dont Look Angry on Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:25 am

Holy Shit Weeble! (Excuse the pun)

I had a good one after Oxegen. Four days worth of shit out in around half an hour. Ah.
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by weeble on Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:07 am

First pic is human shit....the second is cat.
I could tell by the taste.
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by Rebellious Backbencher on Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:14 am

Oh no.
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by ThrobbingWetHole on Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:26 pm



I had a crunchie, in one way out the other.

I dont think it even touched the sides.
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Re: Awesome Shit

Post by Seany C on Thu Jul 16, 2009 11:30 pm

That's a pretty straight shit, bro.
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Re: Awesome Shit

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