E3 predictions

Mine:
>bioware in the middle of announcing sex move DLC for your gay shepard
>lights go out
>flames plume from the stage illuminating the room and igniting the bioware underlings
>gabe fat-person-scooters on stage
>the audience cheers loudly, drowning out the screams and death cries of the now charred bioware puppets
>he rides casually through the roaring flames unscathed, his silvery reflective beard glowing orange, stray embers catching in its wiry mesh like cookie crumbs
>his glasses reflect the hell-fire completely obscuring his eyes with a devil red glow
>he inhales, fedoras from the audience flying down his gargantuan gullet, flames pouring into his belly as he inflates like a puffer fish
>he blows out the flames with whirlwind force as he exhales, deflating back to his normal size
>once again the room is suspended in darkness, deathly silent
>a lone spotlight activates and shines down on gabe
>"Half Life..........."
>The collective urine of audience members trickles forwards down the sloping rows of seating coagulating in a golden moat at the bottom of the stage separating gabe from his audience
>"Episode 3......"
>the crowd empty their lungs involuntarily in a united cheer delivered with such speed that it creates a sonic boom blasting the lukewarm corpses of the bioslaves through the wall behind the stage, gabe doesn't move an inch, anchored in place by his godly girth
>"Is now available on steam"
>people eject from their seats into the air as they shit with propellant force, ejaculating from all orifices in the peak of their flight like sticky white fireworks
>cum and shit cascade onto the seats in a blanket of bodily excrements as audience members land in crippled heaps, pruned and shrivelled like deflated balloons
>gabe scooters off the front of the stage and rides down the centre aisle towards the exit at 2 miles per hour, the light pouring in from the open doors emulating a sunset

Gabe just got a beard too, it's obvious they are announcing Half-Life 3 at this E3. (which I think they should just call it now)

What the fuck did i just read?

Pure poetry.

That is the worst beard I have ever seen. Sort it out Gabe

E3... more like.... Blow Me.

I still believe Gabe will announce Half-Life 3 at one point. Hopefully this E3.

Black Suede wrote:I still believe Gabe will announce Half-Life 3 at one point. Hopefully this E3.

He'll announce it.
He'll get this guy to help with it tho.

That would be pretty bad news, right?   

You can plant a piece of steel and watch a crowbar grow.

Each combine you kill WILL CHANGE THE FUCKING WORLD!