The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
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Black Suede
Kaptain Kaviar
Seany C
Rebellious Backbencher
token new zealander
JokerJamie
bomby
gdf
Fisheggz
01casey
Ipso-Shrapnel
Dingo
GearsCT
weeble
18 posters
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The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers inLouisiana
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Read his letter below.
~Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh*t for two days
because my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.~
Regards,
Bob
Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers inLouisiana
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.
Needless to say, she won.
Read his letter below.
~Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.
This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.
This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.
In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh*t for two days
because my ass was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.~
Regards,
Bob
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Lol poor guy, where do you find these things weebs?
EDIT: This is hilarious https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj2oXMdZ4sk
EDIT: This is hilarious https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj2oXMdZ4sk
GearsCT- Join date : 2008-08-26
Age : 32
Location : Northampton
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Last edited by weeble on Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Awww Weebs that is foul
GearsCT- Join date : 2008-08-26
Age : 32
Location : Northampton
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
There be no chickens in my posts!!!!
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
But I saw one in the second video
GearsCT- Join date : 2008-08-26
Age : 32
Location : Northampton
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Aw man that would has horrible lol. He must have a fear of Jelly fishes now lol.
Ipso-Shrapnel- Join date : 2008-08-26
Location : YOUR FACE
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Is this Ipso getting his dinner....
http://www.entertonement.com/clips/mcfrwvjtpw--ASDA-Customer-Services-Idiot-With-Pizza
http://www.entertonement.com/clips/mcfrwvjtpw--ASDA-Customer-Services-Idiot-With-Pizza
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Is it just me, or does I sound like Major a bit tooo much
GearsCT- Join date : 2008-08-26
Age : 32
Location : Northampton
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Lol at Xylophone Buggerry.
01casey- Join date : 2008-09-02
Age : 32
Location : Preston, UK
Fisheggz- Join date : 2008-08-28
gdf- Join date : 2008-08-26
Age : 32
Location : Aberdeen
GearsCT- Join date : 2008-08-26
Age : 32
Location : Northampton
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
bomby- Join date : 2008-12-19
Age : 32
Location : house
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Good stuff weeble. I loved the girlfriend sending her boyfriend emails haha
JokerJamie- Join date : 2009-08-30
Age : 34
Location : Dublin
gdf- Join date : 2008-08-26
Age : 32
Location : Aberdeen
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
Re: The stuff you cant find anywhere to put but no Pornz cos Seany sulks thread
Saw that when it was allowed on TV haha
GearsCT- Join date : 2008-08-26
Age : 32
Location : Northampton
weeble- Join date : 2008-08-27
Location : Deep in shit
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