An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

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An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by Guest on Fri Jul 17, 2009 10:40 pm

Easy target I know but I’ve got to get this off my chest.

Every two years I go backpacking in some arsehole of the earth to get away from everything and recharge my batteries. This last year I went travelling with some friends around southern Mexico/Guatemala but unfortunately spent 4 days in the paradise that is called Cancun which is full of fucking yanks.

I’ve not got much love for American’s because any nation who can vote a retard in as president must be institutionally brain dead as a collective and sadly they’ve been doing it since George Washington. Now going back to Cancun I decided to give these cultural monkeys another chance and try to communicate. Maybe starting with hand signals then gradually moving on to words and short sentences could be the way to make that connection and understand the level they think on.

I ventured out on the tourist bus that drives up and down the hotel strip to get to the ferry port for an island hopping day. I was surprised how easy it was to strike up a conversation, yes, these people were very friendly. There was myself and about 7/8 other rednecks talking and exchanging holiday plans. Now bear in mind Cancun has EVERYTHING you could need which is the main reason you should GTFO as quick as you can, that’s why I asked this next question- “Is anyone here venturing out of the hotel strip to see what Mexico is really like?” Here’s the reaction>



Americans are not worth time making quality chop.

My question was met first with total shock then laughter.
American’s are taught that anything and anyone who is not American/un-American is something to be feared. I was told that Mexico is dangerous outside the tourist areas and that the safety of the resorts is where I should really be staying. I told them that they were wrong and despite dispensing clarity more retardedness was dribbled forth from these media controlled battery hens like this>


Yankee: “Well the problem is I don’t speak Mexican”

Cultursaurus (me): “Well, I’m sure you mean Spanish. I don’t speak it either but you just pick bits up and get by. Is there any other languages you speak?”

Stupid redneck: “Well only American really, I’ve got Irish family….”

Lolosaurus (me): “American? You MEAN English! American is not a language. You’ll have to excuse me I have to get off this bus because I want to shake you very hard.”


I think because the British government apologized for Phil Collins and Genesis it’s time for someone to start giving the real civilized world some explanations as to why this race of people are in fear and without culture.
2nd instalment of this will come tomorrow. We are going to be looking at American diet and their role in the financial meltdown. I make all my own chops.

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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by 01casey on Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:42 pm

I know you have your critics on this forum, but I like you. You're funny and I enjoy reading your stuff. Very satirical!
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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by bomby on Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:43 pm

Bottled USA right there havent you?

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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by Jammer on Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:45 pm

01casey wrote:I know you have your critics on this forum, but I like you. You're funny and I enjoy reading your stuff. Very satirical!
Also, this is much better than when you just go for shock value.

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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by gdf on Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:52 pm

American bashing is tired, but you seem to have pulled it off with the use of real life imagery in narrative. Good show, sir, do stick around.
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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by Guest on Sat Jul 18, 2009 1:10 am

When you invade sovereign cuntries, accidentally kill your own troops, then do a flyby! and give the world Kid Rock you should apologise.

I was just thinking about food. Every country has its national dish, even Scotland who are just a wannabe country under the domination of the British Reich. What is the national dish of America? The best I could come up with, other than every high fat/sugar/salt filled junk food was…….BEEF JERKY!

We all know where that comes from.



Now we need to identify this plague of ignorance and get them to either apologize for all things American.

So what are the dishes America is actually famous for? Watch this space.

DISCUSS!

More on the way.

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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by Seany C on Sat Jul 18, 2009 1:35 am

Scotland is to England what Canada is to America.
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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by gdf on Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:02 am

Superior in every way.
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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by Seany C on Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:07 am

I'd say different, and in its big brothers shadow. Not better.
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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by Rebellious Backbencher on Sat Jul 18, 2009 8:03 am

Ahh, that old logic. "I've met unintelligent Americans before," a fact which apparently circumvents the large American presence in the list of Nobel Prize winners, Mensa members and Time's People Of The Century (granted, that last one was weak, but having only two examples sounds plain wrong) to give the user license to assume that the most powerful country in the world, the same nation which almost single handedly steered pop culture in the 20th and early 21st century, is a land of morons.
There exist Americans who, much like citizens of every country (and, I dare say, more than most, though in a country so vast and varied it may as well be a continent in itself I'd contend that some leniency should be offered) are ignorant to the world outside, and in that way arrogant about their own patch of the earth. These people's biggest crime, however, is what they do to the rest of us: they make us turn up our nose at a country of myriad attractions, monumental importance and, at times, breathtaking beauty. That's ignorance.
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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by Guest on Sat Jul 18, 2009 2:33 pm

[quote="Rebellious Backbencher"]stuffquote]

Rebellious Backbencher wrote:Stuff

Thats right, some are enlightened.
I was watching an interview with Billie Joe Armstrong from Green day and he was talking about this problem. He said that he was lucky to have seen outside Yankee because of his touring which has caused this fear of 'unamerican' things to go. Sadly only a minority understand the value of other cultures and don't fear them.

Ok I was going to talk about diet and what America has given us in terms of fine cuisine.


Ok here’s some fact, American’s are all fat.
Just think of pretty much ALL the fast food chains. Mc Donald’s, KFC, Domino’s, Taco bell, Bugger king
and so the list goes on. See a pattern here? ALL those companies are American and they all sell
something that loosely resembles food.No country on the planet comes even close to what
these whalesauruses eat in terms of rubbish.

I decided to put American woman in a google search
and found this>

Seany C - Picture NSFW, post the original without the testicles chopped in or keep it as a link
http://www.your-images.org/pics/6b50d34d59565148ea1f574498a55790.png

It seems they have begun using food as a way of trading due to the dollar being removed from public circulation by rich bankers. Fast food is the new $$$.

A while back I was in New York State for just over a week and what I always find difficult in some
cuntries is finding healthy food. This was totally impossible in America due to the fear they have for
anything healthy. Healthy food is termed ‘unamerican’ and falls in the same category as terrorism.

I can remember going into sandwich shops and asking for a salad sandwich and being told that
they don’t sell contraband under the counter. The choices were ‘meat’ (no trace found) with mayo
and a vat of cheese or GTFO!


True facts from CBS news:


  • This year Americans will spend over $110 trillion on fast food more than they'll spend on movies, books, magazines, newspapers, videos, and recorded music combined.



  • Roughly 12% of all American workers have worked at McDonald's.



  • Children often recognize the McDonald's logo before they recognize their own name.



  • A fast food soda that sells for $1.29 costs the restaurant about ten cents, a mark-up of more than 1200 percent.



  • A typical fast food hamburger contains fat from dozens or even hundreds of cattle.



  • Because fast food is so highly processed, much of its flavour is destroyed, so the tastes of most fast food are manufactured at a series of special chemical plants in New Jersey.


I’ll spare you the rest.

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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by gdf on Sat Jul 18, 2009 3:26 pm

Rebellious Backbencher wrote:Ahh, that old logic. "I've met unintelligent Americans before," a fact which apparently circumvents the large American presence in the list of Nobel Prize winners, Mensa members and Time's People Of The Century (granted, that last one was weak, but having only two examples sounds plain wrong) to give the user license to assume that the most powerful country in the world, the same nation which almost single handedly steered pop culture in the 20th and early 21st century, is a land of morons.
There exist Americans who, much like citizens of every country (and, I dare say, more than most, though in a country so vast and varied it may as well be a continent in itself I'd contend that some leniency should be offered) are ignorant to the world outside, and in that way arrogant about their own patch of the earth. These people's biggest crime, however, is what they do to the rest of us: they make us turn up our nose at a country of myriad attractions, monumental importance and, at times, breathtaking beauty. That's ignorance.
I think in some ways it's jealousy. I daresay most of my peers wished they were American, that they were the defining force in, well, everything. Nations outwith the US copy the US, and we make ourselves feel better by laughing at their ignorance. It's not that we so much ignore their incredible country; we visit it, read about it, consume media set there and imitate it constantly. This, though, shouldn't be used to excuse the anti-unamericanism and to some extent anti-intellectualism that large swathes of the US's general populace are guilty of. Bashing them for cheap laughs is just as bad, but there's no smoke without fire.
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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by Seany C on Sat Jul 18, 2009 4:44 pm

When you insult another country and mean it (I do it as a little wind up, I don't believe my words) it's usually down to insecurity. America's dominating, and that's threatening to people. By belittling America people try to push it out of their mind that America has more money than us, more power than us etc. They're being dismissive and plain ignorant as they don't want to see things for how they are (I link nationalism with being similar to a religion in that respect). They want to believe Americans are too fat and stupid to pose a threat. I don't see countries or races or social classes when I look at someone, I see a person and when I'm first introduced to someone I enter with total neutrality and judge them by what they say and how it reflects on them.
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Re: An attack on Americans "US" V THEM

Post by Guest on Sat Jul 18, 2009 4:49 pm

bi bi

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